I do have Black guy friends who only date sisters. If you cut yourself off from any possibility, you may lose one of your perhaps infrequent chances for a good happy marriage. If we are so independent and relationships rely on co-dependency, we are at odds even in our daily lives must like a romantic relationship. I agree with you but he refused several attempts to get him to participate in this article. I wish happily married black women would share more of the positive things about their men with their single friends than the usual negatives. Hi Robyn, Just an observation after reading the article and the comments: It is extremely difficult for most folks to accept that things outside of us cannot fill the need for soul connection. Great remarks, I would expect nothing less from someone in your profession. In fact, the pressure is so strong, I sometimes get the suspicious feeling that everyone else out there is more afraid of us being single and having options than we are. Right on, I don't have to bash men, the men reflect their own character be it the good, bad, or ugly. I never put alot of focus on finding a man, but instead focused on making myself a better human being. They want to know what she looks like and how is the body. I prefer light skinned Black women, however, I will date a Latin woman or even a white woman before I date a dark skinned Black woman. The financial stuff isn't in the way anymore so the emotional stakes are higher. I am growing weary of the search but I love the chase and I do not want to settle for something less.
Before I got married for the third time, I had to do a "cleansing" through therapy and spiritual growth before I met my true soul mate in church. You offer a point of view that I hear and see a great deal. And many men share this opinion. I think more Black women should do the same. I am working on me. Being whole, I can discern who's whole and who's not whole. It was alarming to read the article on Sunday. This is Robyn's friend Serge I just hope you are in the posture to receive him and be a good woman. I think that many black women think they have "got it going on" because they have the degrees and the nice job. Conquer that one and then the rest will follow! I will not be chasing complete strangers. You can speak things into existence. It was our different points of view on many issues that caused our break up. Very interesting article; thank you for sharing your experiences with us! Marriage can often be one of those things. Thorpe, who grew up in Allentown, Pa. I've noted that many African men have these same views - and will call a black woman a slave, wench, etc. All this black female bashing by black men is quite enlightening. Robyn and would not look to Africa to find a prince. I'm sorry but it's sad to see a 45 year old never-been-married sista talking about the virtues of not settling. I am educated and attractive and in a relationship that will become permanent if I choose. African-American women have confused me since my arrival with the idea that they are "worth" more than the men who are pursuing them. It plays upon the worst insecurities of men and women — but especially the African-American women who make up a large portion of its target audience: I'm not materialistic and when I mentioned that my guy friends are good men it is because they are charming, intelligent, considerate, funny, and have the kindest hearts in the world once they let you in.
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