It sounds like you're very compatible in every other way and it is not realistic to expect that someone who is exactly like you is out there waiting for you to find her. Your partner's behavior embarrasses you. I do feel like you sound a bit contemptuous of her social style though. You obviously have empathy for your girlfriend's situation, so can you try to imagine how awkward it must have been for HER? They could be too blunt and insensitive, or unaware of your emotional needs, or untalkative and difficult to have a substantial, intimate conversation with. Cheer on their little victories and milestones. Don't see the issue as entirely their problem If you're one half of a couple, and your partner has an issue, there are three ways you can look at it. It's a complex issue that has to do with comfort levels, shyness and a ton of other factors, and it's not something that can be fixed by going mentally "oh, I'll just talk more next time". Even when you don't know everything going on in your partner's head, the points below will still influence the situation. I really do not want to break up with her. It isn't an issue of respect. Trying to keep up with him was exhausting for me. There was something I didn't like about just joining in on his friends' weekly TV show viewings and game night and happy hour. He doesn't like being alone with his thoughts. I guess they were more supportive? Is the above something that is okay with you? What standards of social behavior do you think you can you reasonably expect from someone you're involved with?
If this one part of your relationship was better, would you want to be with her? You can also get a better sense of where they're coming from, and what things are like from their end. And when I have to make small talk with a person whose name I forgot, I can lean on her for that too. I am not willing to give up my rich inner life to spend more time making small talk with strangers. We do pretty well because--and this is key--my ideal life does not include an extroverted partner. If this means finding people with whom she has things in common, and then essentially starting a conversation for them, do it. If I don't get time to do those things on a regular basis, I start to feel overstimulated and stressed out. Values regarding friends and social activities can change dramatically. Are you going to be miserable if your partner isn't a social butterfly? The first obvious one is that you may be wondering whether your partner does meet the criteria. Here are some thoughts on how to make this conversation go as well as possible: The reason everyone is telling you to break up with her is because you seem to want a different answer than that. But we make it work because we love each other and want the other to be happy and comfortable. It can seem like a no-win situation. He mentions that so-and-so is really looking forward to meeting me. Everyone has character flaws, including me. If your partner needs to make changes to their social skills, that large task is something they have to do for themselves. I mean, sure, she might be the life of the party if she developed a drug or alcohol dependency, but that's not exactly the best way to heal a troubled relationship. I cope better with these. Once you've gotten a sense of what the issue is, you can try to address it. Right now, as she is, do you want to keep dating this person? Like any couple problem, you work together on it and find a compromise that pleases you both. The second important way you can educate yourself and clear up any misunderstandings is to talk to your partner and hear things from their perspective. Learn how to direct the flow of conversation so that she has things to add, or comment on; figure out which of your friends she has the most in common with, attempt to get them talking. There's also the group therapy route. Especially if your friends are extroverts. He lets me be quiet when I want to be quiet we have a signal for that, too.
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