Visit his blog at 6stonejars. This intimacy has to do with two hearts that grow close to one another. I hung back and waited for them to make a move. Third, are you compatible? The connection made with their hearts, as special as it may seem, can still be a threat to the persons these friends will date or be married to. There is a danger here that must not be overlooked. A man and woman who are close friends will naturally want to get closer. Women, more so than men, can become more attracted to someone who is truly like what they are looking for. What is your experience with dating someone who is your friend first? Same-sex friends are physical in these appropriate ways, just as opposite-sex friends are. I think maybe people have forgotten about the effects of original sin and assume too much that man or woman can readily and always control what is fundamental about our sexuality as men and women and as God created us. When a client gets greater clarity of their values and life goals, then they can recognize more easily that someone they have know for a long time could actually be the right one. And I hope people will not conclude that I am opposed to opposite-sex friendship across the board, because I am far from it. Most of my clients are over 35 and have gained a greater understanding about who would be a good life partner for them. Children, of course, are the ultimate "continuation" of the friendship and intimacy in marriage, for they are the tangible incarnation of that mystery of love between a man and a woman. Once she was ready for a new relationship, she recognized he had the qualities that she was looking for.
Second, are your core values aligned? Women, more so than men, can become more attracted to someone who is truly like what they are looking for. But be ready to end the friendship, because the person you are dating or married to may not be open to that. Do you think that a friendship can turn romantic? I have seen it happen in several instances. I hung back and waited for them to make a move. Of course you may not want to chance it and make it weird between the two of you. When a client gets greater clarity of their values and life goals, then they can recognize more easily that someone they have know for a long time could actually be the right one. Love is very tricky, and whenever any level of love is with someone of the opposite sex, there is always a chance that desire for genital sexual expression will develop, the act of which is permitted only in marriage. Stick with finding a person of the same sex to develop the intimacy you desire whether it is desire for deep conversation, or pursuing a common interest, etc. By the way, when I conduct a deep values clarification session with my clients- the values usually are the same as those of their best friends. As it turned out, he had a crush on her. I had a client that after her divorce, her best friend who had never been married was there for her. But taking the physical component out of it, it is still just as dangerous for a man and a woman to have a friendship, even if there is mutually no desire for it to be physical. One answer is to turn this personal friend into a friend of both of you as a couple. Most of my clients are over 35 and have gained a greater understanding about who would be a good life partner for them. Now is the time to follow do the work so you can be ready when you do meet that special person. What is your experience with dating someone who is your friend first? A hug is probably the most popular one. The funny thing is as we get to know someone and feel close to them, we may become more physically attracted. This curious coach would love to know your thoughts. Marital love desires no competition for intimacy with the one they love. Way too many marriages have ended due to one of the persons developing an inappropriate friendship with someone that ended up with one or both having interest in something more happening and that did happen. And I hope people will not conclude that I am opposed to opposite-sex friendship across the board, because I am far from it. In fact, it should never stop growing, and should always desire to go deeper.
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