But I also faced messages like these, tinged with entitlement to my fat body — a body that they expected was theirs for the taking simply because of the size of it. Writer Lavina Melwani described a happy marriage which had been arranged by the bride's father, and noted that during the engagement, the woman was allowed to go out with him before they were married on only one occasion; the couple married and found happiness. And I worried that I would become a sexual curio, more novel than loved. When I asked her why, she chose her words carefully. Thankfully, there are lots of people interested in dating Fat Girls for all the right ones. I just want you to find someone. In the world of thin people, these are types, a physical attraction so universal that it is neutral. It echoed the hogging , the pig roasts , the fat jokes on TV. If you really need to understand why this statement is so annoying, see the bullet above about not fetishizing Fat Girls. As if our souls could be separated from our skin.
We are amazing — and we know it. I choose people who can love all of me. He asked if he could go home with me. Dates constantly commented on my size, a knee-jerk reaction to their discomfort with their own desire. There was a report that sexual relations among middle schoolers in Guangzhou sometimes resulted in abortions. Most Fat Girls can attest that they often gain romantic attention for all the wrong reasons. Welcome back to dating apps. The only question was when the blast would come. But if a thin person is reliably attracted to fat people, that type curdles, and becomes something less trustworthy: I choose love that can embrace my depth and breadth alike. Remember what Virginia Wolf [sic] said? The average duration of courtship before proceeding to engagement or marriage varies considerably throughout the world. If you explain beautifully, a woman does not look to see whether you are handsome or not -- but listens more, so you can win her heart. Over time these experiences left me deeply rattled, certain that any partner who would have me would be plagued with resentment for my body, deep insecurities over their own, or some more sinister pathology. Fat acceptance spaces frequently include heartbreaking stories of people whose relationships were kept secret by their partners. Fat fetishism has deep roots for many fat people, especially fat women. And the culture around us reinforces that at every turn. Not all of us are hilariously funny or sassy or whatever stereotype you have developed to justify our existence. Like them, I had learned that bodies like mine were impossible to want. I choose to believe that fat people can be genuinely attractive, truly loved, actually lovable, sincerely wanted. Can fat bodies simply be a type? Can fat bodies be desired without power imbalances or pathologies? I choose to believe that my fat friends and family members who are in love are loved fully, are fulfilled in those relationships, and that their partners are not somehow damaged for wanting them. I want to be loved in my body, not in spite of it. The only way for any of us to conceive of my body as being desirable was if that desire was pathological. But why is a healthy, natural attraction to fat bodies so difficult for us collectively to believe? So we assume most — if not all — fat attraction is pathological.
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