And my sister is living under their roof. He doesn't seem to mind that she wheezes and coughs the whole time she is there because she can't breathe. Whether you are a friend or a relative, here are your options: She will never learn what it means to make a living, and how difficult it is these days. I know that all I can do is support her and hope he never begins to get physically abusive, but in the meantime - How do you think we should proceed? You get sick of her complaining about how crappy he treats her—yet she stays. Sleeping the whole day. Having said that, I have decided to back out, and let my parents deal with it. Not only do I hate this guy he was VERY rude to me my last few months on the job, which is a whole other can of worms , but my entire family hates him, too. First red flag So, she drives to his home nearly every day to spend time with him. My sister 20 years old is dating a complete loser. Perhaps you have better coping mechanisms and this is why you are able to be more independent whereas your sister is a different person who may be more needy emotionally. I continued to work in close proximity with him every day, so I saw the changes arise. If he feels that this is what he needs to do until she is able to stand on her own two feet then that is his business alone. You now have a not-so-real friendship because you have to pretend to be supportive of her choice in a boyfriend. Until then, she has to respect whatever our Parents tell her. Tell her your concerns in a caring and compassionate way.
The problem is, that my parents take a lot of my advice. His response was to tell her that the only reason he was going to his grandmother's for Thanksgiving was so that she could meet his extended family, and that he wouldn't even be able to get to his grandmother's house if she didn't drive him, so he might as well sit at home alone and eat pizza rolls for Thanksgiving. Fast forward to January of this year - she dropped off the face of the Earth. Mom and Dad divorced 6 years ago, when I was in my mid 20s. What if she were desperately waiting for someone to give her permission to break up? What if I tell my dad, to let her do what she wants, only if she is completely independent financially, and has her own place. He doesn't seem to mind that she wheezes and coughs the whole time she is there because she can't breathe. I know that all I can do is support her and hope he never begins to get physically abusive, but in the meantime - How do you think we should proceed? When their lease was up 4 months after the rude break up, she moved out. Second red flag Not only that, but she will often spend her entire visit talking to his stepmom or watching his brothers while he watches TV in another room. It is up to your father to decide whether supporting her is for the best or not. So, as a solution, my sister suggested to her guy that they eat with their own families, then hang out later in the evening. I have shared my concerns, but she says she loves him and that I simply just do not understand what a great guy he is. I can't bare to tell them to just let it go, because on one hand, they are giving her an extremely comfortable life, and on top of that, she is lying to my parents, to still meet this guy. Meanwhile, she was still living in the rented house with her then ex, pretending they were still dating for his family's sake. In a tiny, noisy, frigid cube posts, read , times Reputation: I witnessed all of this and knew that he was no longer the sweet guy I introduced my sister to years prior, but she did not want to hear about any of the changes I'd witnessed, and chose to go on with their relationship blindly, giving him the benefit of the doubt for another 1. Tell her you will help her find a new place, and call in the troops to help her pack and move. She cooks, she cleans, and she pays his bills while he sits around playing video games all day. You get sick of her complaining about how crappy he treats her—yet she stays. Avoid pushing her buttons. You must do everything within your power to stop her from crashing. You can only state your opinion but you cannot make demands. He lives with his stepmother and two brothers in a trailer. For example, if I was still living at home with my parents, I would be subjected to the 'house rules' I'm 29 by the way. Whether you are a friend or a relative, here are your options: Here's a little background:
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